29 Weeks!

Time is really starting to go by quickly now, and hopefully it continues that way for the sake of the babies! I have to admit that I am now starting to have mini-panic attacks when I think of how things are going to be in a few weeks.  I did not allow myself to think ahead of how life would be because I was afraid something would go wrong.  While that plan got me through the early times, it has not been helpful with dealing with the future! I wonder how we are going to do everything and take care of 3 little babies all at once. Obviously, we will have the help of our families and friends, but ultimately the job of parenting is left up to us.

In my heart, I know that everything will be fine and we'll get through it. But, my mind is swirling thinking about the logistics of it all.  I can't wait to see their little faces, but I want them to stay inside of me to keep them safe. I want them to stay in until 35 weeks and then bring them home soon after delivery, but that also terrifies me because we are not anywhere near being ready for them at home. I can't wait until bedrest is over and I can run out to the store when we need something, but I know I will never be able to lay on the couch and watch t.v. again! So many things to think about and get done before they join us out here, but I feel so unprepared. And those who know me, know that I hate being unprepared and I have to have a plan for everything. I think that may be one of the most difficult things that I have been dealing with-not being able to completely plan out everything that is going to happen-when they come, how they will be, etc.  I have just been taking everything one step and one week at a time, so to actually think ahead more than that makes my heart beat a little faster. Don't get me wrong, I am so excited to finally be in this place after our struggles. I am just afraid and nervous, about so many things! I assume everyone goes through this before becoming parents. I just wish I hadn't put off thinking about it this whole time!!

But yea for 29 weeks!! I am excited and nervous for our appointment this Thursday-growth scan and biophysical profiles. We will see how they have grown-hopefully a lot since week 25.  For the BPP, part will be on ultrasound and part should be a non-stress test, although they didn't mention that when I scheduled these appointments.  They will see how many movements they make, practice breathing, etc.  I hope they are all overachievers! It's another late afternoon appointment and since it'll be a long one, I may not post until Friday.  Keep your fingers and toes crossed for big babies!! :)